First of my old writings - The Batman

This is the first version of a poem about Batman that I wrote for a creative writing class when I was in college.  It is not too bad, but I think we can agree that it needs work.  I will post the improved version shortly.

The Batman

I wait on the fire escape,

The evil of the city is everywhere around me.

Tonight I must stop that evil.

It is hard, because there is so much.

An old lady walks in the alley below.

Evil shadows follow, then attack.

The lady screams.

I make my move, flying from my perch.

The lady runs into the dark.

They feel the odds are in their favor, and close in.

One lunges at me, I kick him against the wall.

Soon they are all on me, kicking and punching me.

I remember what they did to my parents.

A sea of red fills my eyes.

When it fades, the muggers lie at my feet.

Somewhere in the distance a siren sounds.

I vanish into the shadows to continue my fight.

The police are not the only thing the evil must worry about tonight.

 

Jack Hecker
1990


Here is the rewrite.  I think that it is much better than the original.

The Batman – version 2

I wait on the fire escape

The evil of the city is everywhere around me

Its breath crawls across my body

Seeping into my lungs

Trying to corrupt my soul

A bag lady hobbles into view

All she has are the clothes on her back

And a cart full of trinkets she has collected

Evil shadows slither behind

The strike

She lets out a tired scream

She’s been through this before

I make my move

Flying from my perch

They think they have me out numbered

I can’t wait to prove them wrong

A shadow strikes

I kick him against the wall

Ribs splinter

Muscle separates from bone

Consciousness turns to black

They rush me

Are all over me

Kicking, punching

Evil killed my parents

I won’t let it kill me

A sea of red fills my eyes

When it fades

Broken bodies lie about

A distant siren sounds

I vanish into the night

The police are not all

Evil must worry about tonight

 

Jack Hecker

1990


Note:  The character of Batman belongs to DC Comics.